trying to search about that new abc show
ohmgygohggy that scared the shit out of me
i was just lying on my bed with my laptop proofreadin my sister’s assignment
then i glanced to the left and my cat’s face was literally AN INCH from mine and she was in pounce-y hunting position
i didn’t even know she was in the room, that was terrifyign oh god my poor heart
I know you’re convinced that I have bipolar disorder. One moment, I’ll be friendly and totally happy to talk. Then an hour later, I’ll get extremely angry and curt when you come into my room, and repeatedly ask you to leave when you do.
Who knows why a young adult who’s in their room at nighttime with the lights off and a laptop out, and all their limbs under the covers, would be pissed off at a family member walking in without knocking? What on EARTH could someone in that situation be doing?
P.S. Use some fucking perception and stop being so indignant about this + bringing it up regularly. This is not some deeply-rooted emotional problem, and I do not need you to keep insisting that I have to go to a psychologist. I JUST WANT TO FINISH MY FUCKING ORGASMS IN PEACE, YOU DUMB WHORE.
are you fucking kidding me
Soda by Ivan Trejo
THIS GUY KNOWS WHATS GOOD
HE IS ASKED TO COME CLOSE AND SNUGGLE AND HE IS SO HAPPY TO
i die a little each time this is way too cute ok
This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.
CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:
- do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
- go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
- if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
- look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
- the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
- works every time
"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING
this is the happiest I’ve been in a long time
I actually can’t cope with this